Pony (Extended Version)
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Released in 1996

Timbaland is among the all-time great hip hop/R&B’s producers, and Ginuwine’s “Pony” was one of his first big hits. Like many Timbaland tracks, it’s held up flawlessly over the years.

Timbaland takes pride in fusing together unlikely elements in service of a slamming, unique beat. The most dominating sound on “Pony” is a deceptively simple three-note froglike bassline. But it’s the weirdness that takes the track to another level — the loopy slide whistle, the way he lets the beat breathe during the verses, the chugging percussive sound that lurks underneath.

The lyrics are ridiculous, but you have to admire the complete lack of shame:

If you’re horny, let’s do it
Ride it, my pony

Unbelievably, the lyrics go even further downhill from there, but I’ll refrain from calling attention to the specifics here; regardless, it’s impossible not to sing along.

Recently, Dancing Alone to Pony became a meme. Dozens of brave boogiers uploaded lo-fi video to show their genuine love for Ginuwine’s classic. This one is my current favorite:

The extended version doesn’t overextend itself. There’s an additional instrumental passage which introduces some vaguely ominous keyboard elements into the mix, but otherwise leaves the original intact.

Driven To Tears
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When The World Is Running Down, You Make The Best Of What’s Still Around (Different Gear Remix)
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Voices Inside My Head
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Album: Zenyatta Mondatta (1980)

For an album that the band itself isn’t particularly satisfied with, Zenyatta Mondatta sure has some gems on it. The accepted story is that The Police were pressured to complete the record prior to going on a world tour, despite the band’s grumblings. Regardless, Zenyatta Mondatta succeeds due to the trio’s chemistry, songwriting, and musicianship.

Zenyatta Mondatta‘s biggest hits were the terrific “Don’t Stand So Close To Me” and the idiotic “De Do Do Do, De Da Da Da.” More interesting are the dancefloor classics that captured a band willing to broaden their sound.

“Driven To Tears” is a propulsive, reggae-tinged jam that gives each band member a chance to shine. Stewart Copeland (who I learned was American — I thought they were all Brits?) provides steady yet adventurous support for Sting’s unusually melodic bass skills and Andy Summers face-melting guitar solo.

In the shoddy music video for “When The World Is Running Down, You Make The Best Of What’s Still Around” below, there’s a stretch taken from a live performance, and demonstrates The Police were even more exciting on stage than on record:

Instead of the original version, I’m featuring a 2000 remix credited to an outfit called Different Gear. Originally released as a bootleg, Zenyatta Mondatta‘s rightsholder facilitated an official release. Different Gear adds some tasteful house beats behind the original groover, but keeps the core track intact.

“Voices In My Head” was a disco smash, and can still move the crowd some 30 years later. It feels unfinished — especially lyrically — and may be one example of why The Police were frustrated with their deadline. Even so, it’s effective as a (mostly) instrumental exploration of one killer riff.

So what the hell does Zenyatta Mondatta mean? Nothing much, apparently. Stewart Copeland explains, “It’s not an attempt to be mysterious, just syllables that sound good together.” Agreed.

I Want You Back (Z-Trip Remix)
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Don’t Stop ‘Til You Get Enough (Original Demo)
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I Can’t Help It (Tangoterje Remix)
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Rock With You (House Remix)
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They Don’t Care About Us (DJ Lt. Dan Remix)
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Don’t get me wrong. I had only a grain-of-sand sized belief that Michael Jackson would ever be relevant to my life again, at least from a musical perspective. Certainly, the tabloid drama that was his life continues to enthrall, but it never overshadowed the breathtaking catalog of recordings that he drove into creation.

It’s only been a week since he died, but I already feel everything has been said about the impact Jackson had on the culture. But when I hear “ABC” or “Wanna Be Startin’ Somethin’” or “Off The Wall” or dozens of other classics, I can’t help but think back to my DJ days and the countless times Jackson saved my ass by energizing the dancefloor. The soul sickness that caused his life to devolve into an overdose of painkillers will soon be a distant memory.

The tracks I selected are not meant to be Michael Jackson’s greatest hits. But given that most people already have the entirety of Off The Wall and Thriller on their iPods, I thought I would share some outtakes and remixes of his work.

First up is a remix of “I Want You Back” that was on the Motown Remixed comp from a few years back. Normally, I’m not much of a Z-Trip fan, but he deftly tweaks the construction of this track, adding a new drumbeat but leaving the underlying groove intact. This version really highlights the interplay between 10-year old Jackson’s passionate vocals and his brothers’ smooth background harmonies.

A demo of “Don’t Stop ‘Til You Get Enough” that appeared on an Off The Wall reissue provides a glimpse into Jackson’s recording process. Musically, the song lacks the lavish disco strings and brass overdubs, and Jackson was clearly still figuring out the lyrics. But you can hear this version and know it’s a hit song.

“I Can’t Help It” was written for Jackson by Stevie Wonder. This mellow remix by Tangoterje was pointed out to me by my Berlin-based friend, Pepe (thanks amigo, see you in a couple of weeks). Unlike Z-Trip (who had access to the original master recording), Tangoterje is working off the completed recording, yet he figures out a way to turn this lush mid-tempo ballad into a soulful, percussive booty-shaker.

The white-label remix of “Rock With You” is one of those dirty house records that I happened upon in my crate-digging days. Every once in awhile, I’d have a gig where I worked with a house DJ. This was always a bit stressful for me since I had a pretty limited selection of house records. This track satisfied the jaw-grinding set while staying true to my funk/R&B/hip hop roots.

The final track is also the strangest, and the only one I enjoy more than its original. “They Don’t Care About Us” is not one of Michael’s best songs, and the ill-worded “Sue me, Jew me… Kick me, Kike me” lyric is amongst Jackson’s stupidest moves. But this chopped and screwed mashup hits on so many levels. This remix style is often associated with downers (specifically, codeine-laden cough syrup), which is resonant given the cause of Michael Jackson’s death. And though his vocal style became increasingly staccato as his career progressed, slowing it down and marrying it with that addictive Dead Prez “Hip Hop” beat is just plain tough. Finally, laying on a quote from attorney Mark Gregaros in response to Jackson’s child molestation charges adds an ominous justification for the song’s bitter lyrics.

Hope you’re finally at peace, MJ.